TWENTY TWO ELEVEN

Because the world is black and white, then colourful, and then back again. :)

I have about 2 more hours of being fifteen.

Feeling rather nervous, honestly, and i dont know why.

Sixteen 16 sixteen 16.

Im scared, for one (two?) years ago when i was fourteen, i was so so immature my mind was ugh, i was so stupid and i was almost like at loss for direction and i treated myself really badly without thinking of consequences.

And now im turning sixteen, with a whole different mindset..

It scares me, im turning sixteen so fast.

When i was in secondary one or primary school, ive always heard people saying "Oh im secondary three, taking O levels next year" or "Sec four, my O level year" or when i was 12+ and innocently saying "Yup im going to Express" and now i really am taking my O levels, i already made it to Express, all's been well for me but will it continue on?

I have been failing, and then succeeding, failing and then succeeding.

How much harder am i to work now that im older?

Im scared of the new responsibilities i have to hold.

I know now a little more about myself. Every day.

I learn how notice the littlest things like how someone did not put back my things or whether someone touched my things, or how i notice this person is cold towards me, or how i care so much about whether i am hurting other people with what i say or do (but i still do it) or how i tell myself to love myself more every single day..

And my 15th year was..worth remembering..?

And i am going to be sixteen..

I dont feel im ready to be sixteen.

Its like every single year i get older, i feel like there are more things to go wrong.

It sucks me up a little inside for i know when i get older i am to change for the better.

But i am, i will be.

I sound like im getting married or something..

Anyhoos, had a great weekend, i hope my common tests will be fine (since i havent even started studying sh*t) and insyallah everything will go on smoothly for me and my 16th year.

Time to study, :')