hustleen :]

2011-06-21T10:26:00.000-07:00

I dont like you all. Im sad. Bye.

WWW.LINS8.BLOGSPOT.COM will you :(

2011-06-07T04:08:00.000-07:00

Can everybody pls go to lins8.bs.com i have to leave hustleen.. :(

Bye!!!

2011-06-03T02:01:00.000-07:00

Hi all im with www.lins8.blogspot.com now cuz of some difficulties stuff with this blog account which i have explained there.
Please flip your pages and go for my posts there from today onwards!!! Tell me whatcu think too :D
ill be socalledly deactivating this acct when i get the chance.
Thanks see yall there!!!

2011-05-21T07:54:00.000-07:00

Proper post about this another time.

PS that is Jenx, ahhh~ :B teehee

Tois

2011-05-19T05:51:00.000-07:00

Gotta love him eh.

This could be unnecessary
Pain and quite a lot of nasty
Strain upon his brain and you know
How expensive therapy can

Be for just one session nowadays
And just for dealing with a
Phase that he'll grow out of in a
Couple of years, it's true.

We've talked about the birds and bees
So why ya hiding this from me?
It's plain to me why can't you see
I don't need any therapy for this.

5 GOOD MOVIES.

2011-05-17T07:00:00.001-07:00

Apparently, i eat snow ^^ Nomnomnom

AND EVERYTIME I DO,
I KEEP SEEING THIS PICTURE OF YOU.

150511

2011-05-15T06:47:00.000-07:00

TEXTIFYING!.

I havent had someone to text lately,
But sometimes get a few,
And when i say “few” I mean, literally, two.

So I guess you couples are pretty lucky,
Having someone there all day,
But all the texting needs money,
Then again money aint here to stay.

Its weird that my phone’s so quiet,
But I got used to it really,
Although I am pretty tired,
Of being so text-free.

But you people are so pampered,
Devouring the way you communicate,
Honestly I think its bloody absurd,
Getting angry when you get a love text late.

Please don’t complain when you get no instant text from your baby,
When texts I get a few,
I havent had someone to text lately,
And by “few” I mean, literally, two.

So I write this in poem form,
Cuz I don’t want a normal blog post,
Just like Operation Desert Storm,
Meant to hit where it hurts most.

Poem perhaps by just a lonely text-less girl named Lin Said.
Come to think of it i sometimes am really lazy to type text and stuff..
OK LOVE U BI!.

Irony

2011-05-12T05:29:00.000-07:00

Hes so beautiful, song's so so beautiful.

Thing that gets me out of bed and survive my days.

I wish guys these days over here could just stop trying to be like other artists, take awhile to listen to themselves and produce something truly from/for their love for music, at least.

Tom Milsom.

Ironic, yes.

Killing me slowly inside

2011-05-09T03:59:00.000-07:00

Apparently at my weakest point (again) mentally, physicaly and emotionally. It tires the hell out of me when i fall asleep so late for thinking too much, and wake up so early to do things i really dont wanna do. Usaha doa sabar. No matter how easy its said, sometimes i cant do it.. Im weak im sad im scared. Thats just what i am. Everytime i look at myself i cant fully believe its me. So much time spent on some shit i dont wanna do. Im tired. Things keep being shoved into me at the most crucial times. So many typos.
This will get me stronger, believe and sabar, Lin.
God please help me...

LJS

2011-05-07T04:00:00.000-07:00

SAY HELLO TO MY CELEB BOYFRIEND.
HE IS INSANELY AMAZING.
WHEN MY ARMS ARE BETTER, I WILL SHOW THEM HOW STRONG I AM.
METHAPHORICALLY AND LITERALLY.
BEN "JENX" JENKIN.
ONE DAY ILL HAVE JENX ON MY BACK TOO.

YUM
I SHALL NOW BE LIN JENX SAID TEEHEE :P

So i keep doing my own thing

2011-05-07T02:54:00.000-07:00

Before i begin baking i would like to make this message.

I aint gonna wish you anything youre just a big huge liar sometimes i think if i cant forgive people like you how can other people forgive me too but then again youve hurt me continuously and i was stupid and you took advantage of me and now you keep talking like you know what life is and talk shit bout girls when you know you like it youre just a stupid stupid asshole wish i never knew you i hope you fail, socially and academically, but guess what ill be nice and wish you not to DIE just because its your bloody birthday.

Other than your birthday, you damn well know what i wish you :)

I will never forgive you and i hope it gives you hell.

HospitaLINsation

2011-05-01T05:13:00.000-07:00

So, the stay was just really unexpected. Teared afew times upon knowing.. But, yeah.
Ward 75 Bed 1. :B

So i got to pick my breakfastlunchdinner. Most of which were Western.. Didnt take many pictures cuz i was just too tak kuasa.. Anyway, slept alone the first night. Creepy but slept pretty well after powerpuff girls. Up bout 730 the next day, mum told me to shower before we had to wait for turns. When i came out breakfast was already there. :)

I just hated the fact that the next day i was told i had to be plugged. So they first tried on my left hand. 5 times, four on the same vein. And they even swelled up my hand so the blood would be there. I was fine the first 2 tries, but from the 3rd onwards i couldnt control myself and started crying. But the doctor said "but shes very cooperative" lol^^ He pressed a hand on my forehead to chill me out lol. Then they sent me back. The wound swelled a whole bump!! Scary.. Watched 2 Alam with Mum for awhile and then went down to eat and went back up and then they tried again on my right hand, twice, and successful on the 2nd, thank God.
The taking out part was better ^^
They gave me Milo almost at every meal and in between lunch and dinner and after dinner :)
Lunch 2nd day.
Presents from Mummy's friends.

Ice kacang and Yong Tau Foo for 2 days continuously ^^

My brother is damn weird. N he slept in my bed!!
And this is what i look like when i sleep, yucks... ahhh =.=

Mac n Delifrance before home..

Thank you for everything you two. Will never go back there again.

TEEHEE!. :B

Rashie

2011-04-27T04:04:00.001-07:00

(VERY NICELY) SAY HI TO MY THESE-RASHES-ARE-KILLING-ME FACE.

Had to borrow Mum's random sleeveless. As you can see. I feel like a mother.

Look at my favorite headband~!!!! ^^

Yet to study, me is failure.

WEEKEND WEEKEND

2011-04-24T04:52:00.001-07:00

Hallo.
Weekend was fine, esp with real cute cousins around!! ^^

Didnt study AT ALL, however. :B

FINALLY I AM TALLER!!

MY BLADER.

ICE CREAM BOUGHT BY THE DADDYS ON A HOT HOOOT DAY.

SO CUTE ^^

HE FELL ASLEEP ON MY SHOULDER!! And when he rested on my leg he was like "Wah ana your pants so nice so so cozy.. So soft.." HAHAHA CUTE!!
SEE HOW CUTE THEY ARE!!!!!
SEEEEEEE!
And so i wanna chill before i do some serious stuff..
Look at my eyebaggies.
Hey this i like this one!
This is my favorite effect idk why!!
Big hair small head
Should make these for birthdays next time. (Speaking of birthdays, Happy Birthday Ariff!! :B)
And these for Christmas..

I dunno, rly.

OK shall do some "serious stuff" now (like waiting for my thosai...) HEHE g'night study hard all :B Oh n i smell like Afi, wonder why.. Hehs :B

2011-04-21T23:41:00.000-07:00

SAY HELLO TO MY BZZ FACE

Going to Aunts house l8r, at least theres a car.

Balik kampong next two days.

Tillllllllllll then.

PS Someday i know youll have to know and its better than keeping it to myself so im not afraid

It’s got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real

2011-04-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

"I got a problem and I don’t know what to do about it
Even if I did, I don’t know if I would quit but I doubt it
I’m taken by the thought of it, and I know this much is true"

You solve the likeliness i didnt feel.

Wanted it so badly, wanted to feel it so badly.
Wanted to break the silver streak but remained in the line instead.
As much as im happy for them,
i just really badly wanted it.
Perhaps that was why i cried.
It was expected but there was really nothing more i prayed for.
Guess i didnt work hard enough.
Just the thought of it being my first and last killed me.
Its never gonna happen again, and ill never know how it feels..
But then again, dancers i still love yall no matter whut yall rocked it!! :)
Its just a little hard for me to move on.
Keep looking back esp since whats going on now keeps reminding me..
Academics is failing, things outside academics is failing, social life on the line.
Where am i gonna go, i never want to leave.

Make me young again

2011-04-16T02:01:00.000-07:00

WHY HELLO. Silver's shiny.. At least it tops off bronze.. Baked Caramel Cupcakes~

I've been here lookin' dynamite Alone against the wall Girls like you give it all so cold Talkin' cheap in a bathroom stall And you look so smooth You better tell me the truth Would you trade me Out for someone cool?

Boy youre an alien

2011-04-12T07:03:00.000-07:00

Came across each other again and oh my God, hes just so much more mesmerizing, wish i couldve watched him take over the dancefloor. SYF was pretty fine, hopes aint so high but whats most important is that we enjoied :) Will never forget it.

Followed by dinner.

And then home im super beat now.

Left arm officially dead, cant do shit with it, cant carry even the lightest things and my fingers are really numb and you can see how i control my shoulders in the pictures. Horrible shit.

Felt soo so good on the big stage, was so freakin nervous but the moment i stepped out everything just felt so good :)

Yeah just hoping for the best right now but really it doesnt matter as much now.

Ok bloody tired now shall update properly another day. Malay Dance SYF 2011, i love yall :)

Enjoi~

Didnt say i couldnt do it

2011-04-06T04:57:00.000-07:00

I dont know how people do it.
When you wake up parents are already gone busy working, and you come back home early or late they still come back just in time for your turn to go to sleep.
I think its just fucking sad.
And now, every day, everytime i come home i feel that i shouldve put the day to a much better use and did more things.
Cuz i use home as a place to rest too much.
Oh sigh. I dont think we will be getting hold of our hopes but sometimes you gotta leave it to God.
Its a team effort and not everyone will work as hard as you do.
Sometimes even you wont.
Anyway point is, ive been sleeping out.
I miss my parents so much.

2011-04-05T04:31:00.000-07:00

"Always go with the people that will bring you higher"
Even if its not me.
But what matters most is, you stay smiling.
:)

A LIL' LESS SIXTEEN CANDLES

2011-04-02T04:06:00.001-07:00

Hi hi.

Today's dance showcase was awezsumez!!

Suuuper fun i guess, in a way.

First round was horrible :(

Second round was awesome!! :B

Hehe. Best part was; i saw this guy and when he was dancing i just couldnt keep my eyes off him.

(Besides him being awfully cute!!!) He was smiling like he was enjoying it ALL THROUGH THE DANCE, and ive NEVER seen a guy dance malay with so much..heart and soul, shall i put it that way?

Uh huh, and he fits the character in the story of his school's dance so perfectly, the cheeky smiles and the sharpness and the details even like nodding.

But most importantly, it was how he smiled and how much energy he gave while he was dancing.

Truly mesmerizing, i shall say. Just awesome. :)

And its just kinda funny how you "meet" someone new one day, and then never meet them again. Ever.

Like just now, we met some people, showed our dances, and then *poof* never to meet again.

Weird huh.

Absorb as much good stuff you can.

Watched SuckerPunch with Adillah n Amirah.

I feel bad for Zilah. Sorry :(

Oh this is Ajul eating durian. Super cute!!

And, well, i just found this picture above funny. HAHAHA!! :B

Sooo, seriously, life is soo sooo good when you dance! You just gotta feel it for yourself. What he said was right. The first round i danced i thought about all the competition, and i screwed up alot. But the second round i danced, i let the music fill me in and let the steps flow and just smiled, and i did so much better. Well, when this dance leaves, im hoping something else will come in. If you're not dance, dont bother trying. Have a good weekend everyone, muacks! :B PS You know what, just wanna make the world dance, forget about the bloody price tag.

SHOWCASE

2011-04-01T05:54:00.000-07:00

TOMORROW.

SO NERVOUS.

UGH.

Stagie

2011-03-31T06:48:00.000-07:00

And i couldnt help but realize that as i dance, my eyes search for you and then i finally found you and almost immediately i knew that i wanted you..

Ahh ok. Missed training today for the first time cuz body couldnt keep up. Feels so good performing, truly is a blessing to be able to do so. Altho arms wanted to die. ugh. So yup response was great. Cedar girls got GWH, holy cow. And some friends are at bronze. I am a wreck. I think we're at silver and there is just no way that should happen. Ugh why am i so cowardly against how i feel..

2011-03-30T06:05:00.000-07:00

I am so scared what if i have tuberculosis omg ive been having this cough since forever and sore throat just came back and you have no idea what its like when i wake up in the middle of the night coughing till tears and making puking sounds and reaching out for my best hope, which is a big fat bottle of Plum Juice.
Please please please recover soon :'((((((

When life gives you lemons

2011-03-28T07:10:00.000-07:00

Finally got to lie down. With eyemasks now.
I bumped into some sense.
Here we go.

I ASKED FOR STRENGTH.
And God gave me difficulties to make me strong.

I ASKED FOR WISDOM.
And God gave me problems to solve.

I ASKED FOR PROSPERITY.
Ad God gave me brain and brawl to work.

I ASKED FOR COURAGE.
Ans God gave me danger to overcome.

I ASKED FOR LOVE.
And God gave me troubled people to help.

I ASKED FOR FAVORS.
And God gave me opportunities.

I RECEIVED NOTHING I WANTED,
i received everything i needed.

SOMETIMES STRUGGLES ARE
exactly what we need in our lives.

IF GOD WOULD ALLOW US TO go through or lives without any obatacles,
it would cripple us.

-

A Chrstian guy asked a muslim: Why do your girls cover up their body and hair?

The muslim guy smiled and got two sweets, he opened the first one and kept the other one closed. He threw them both on the dusty floor and asked the Christian: if i asked you to take one of the sweets, which one will you choose?

The Christian replied: The covered one.

Then the muslim said thats how we treat and see our women.

-

Got em from tumblr and a friend. So much sense i didnt first think of.. No matter how ugly i freakin am now, or how much people dont notice me or my efforts, slowly but surely it will all work out.. Even if nobody had seen it, i know one has always believed in me. No matter how low my self esteem is, i have to break it. I ask for so much ease from God and im returned wirh even more pain. Why, so that when i get through with the pain, i get the whole package in return. Feel all the ease i wabt, but pain never stops. Life is always unfair.

"Fantasy is useful, you can learn from it.
But this is real, and i accept it."

With much love,
goodnight.

Five six one

2011-03-27T00:58:00.000-07:00

Frankly, for me,
Nothing beats the joy of baking (esp with cute little sweethearts like the one above)
Friday Nights are my baking nights, and however tired i am i still will bake something up, and feeling of satisfactory after that..feels best!
Its like the whole week's tiredom and frustration just flows into my baking..but the end product is all out of love.
Haha ironic.
And then theres super loads of things i bake that my family probably dont really like cuz they are too sweet etc.
But the best part is when i share it with my friends and they liking it just make me smile.
Actually i dont know if they really like it or not, but it feels good to be able to share and give :)
Maybe i should live out to share what im able to make.
If i cant sell cookies because *ahem* then i can sell coookie dough!! :P lol
And i wanna try cakes but theres some issues haha.
Hm, beware everyone, i might start a business :P
So fun so fun so fun.
N i love afi, he sorta helped me bake altho some accidents happened ;x hehe
But it just annoys me that my baked stuff are not what i expect them to be. :(
Nvm shall try harder, n at least theyre all baked with love :)

So big

2011-03-26T06:44:00.000-07:00

The time to step on another big stage is coming pretty soon.
But this time, we will be judged.
Heck, i am so fricken scared.
Dance, love you muacks :*

Where got time :B

2011-03-25T01:55:00.001-07:00

Ahh, Terry made me fall in love with this after he sang it.
Haha :B

Way to wrap up Camp Success.
Sec 3s came down with their camp instructors.. Ahh made me miss camp :(
N they had this real short instructor, made me think what if my brother ends up like him..
N what if i marry a short guy..
HAHA real cute tho! :P Heheh

Ahhhh on the bad side..
SO MANY PIMPLES I HAVE TO GET RID OF THEM DURING THE WEEKENDS MY BODY IS ACHING AGAIN MY ARMS CANT HOLD UP SO HIGH SO LONG AND I HAVE TWO PERFORMANCES NEXT WEEK.
TO TOP IT ALL OFF,
ITS ALL HAPPENING BECAUSE IM GONNA GET MY PERIOD.

ARGH EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jangan lalai

2011-03-24T06:55:00.000-07:00

Today @ kbmac was just super weird.
Every day @ kbmac is just super weird!!

Anyway..
Pimples are appearing everywhere.
Tiredness n sleepiness are startin to kick in REAL fast n very too long.
Eating many alot..
Mood startin to swing fast..
Impatient, annoyed, feeling left out..
Anyone wanna guess whats happenin soon..?

"Forget it, baby, lets go."

Glenn Chua is mad sexy!!! N Dynesh is so cute lol!! :B

Oh yeah one reason. Just 1 reason.
1. Your smile, hands down. Makes anyone, anyone at all, smile with you.

I like what i cant have but id like to believe its better to like it that way.

(Y) GIRLS (Y) FRIENDS (Y) LIFE

2011-03-18T23:36:00.001-07:00

170311;

Was great, made me feel like if you dread something, youll turn out to actually enjoi it.

Haha i got really mabuk in the movie and after, head acted up and i think we were too close to the screen n i was really not used to it i guess.

Nad bought me Panadol, haha shes too nice. :B

Yep, i was leading in bowling UNTIL Zilah striked so yup she won.

Hehe n we were supposed to have a punishment for the last two but we seemed to have forgotten about it ;x

Reached home later than expected, but i had an awesome time.

Love you girls!

We all love Zilah!. ;P teehee

Walao, height~

I didnt know my hair looked like this from behind.

Apshyck~!

Beth Riesgraf

2011-03-17T06:58:00.000-07:00

Beth Riesgraf

aka Parker in Leverage

Omg i love her, shes so gorgeous and i love her personality.

And shes weird as Parker.

N she has a son called Pilot Inspektor.

How weird yet cool huh!

Gonna cut my hair like her after SYF teehee.

Ahhh and you should watch her in Cath from Death Cab for Cutie.

IDOL.

Yay omg Beth Riesgraf ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ :B

R u awake

2011-03-16T08:25:00.000-07:00

My head is spinning, your name is everywhere, its not helping, my heart slows down and quickens at the same time, i feel like i could burst..
For i like (you).

Just kidding. Heheh :P

Doin doin doin~

2011-03-14T06:44:00.000-07:00

Hi all!

My cousin (picture) is so cute huh!! Haha :P

So yeah man had such an awesome weekend, and Ajul just left..

Pretty hectic while the Dzuls are here ahaha and now its just so quiet.

So ive been thinkin, bout how many people ive hurt..

But i cant tell my heart to do it, really.

My head wont settle for something my heart cant reach out to.

So im sorry.

Im pretty much amazed (?) that im still in your heart/mind.

I mean, its been sucha long time.

I know how you feel, though.

Wanting something you cant have.

And you'd hold on for so long thinking it will all work out when the other person's feeling this way..

Its crappy, really.

But we cant do anything..

So anyway, ive been tired, or LOOKING tired, or..yeah.

How crappy.

And dance today was fine..

And he, is so so fine.......

whysee.

Nights all!! :P

PRNS

2011-03-13T20:35:00.000-07:00

Watching Ninja Storm now with Ajul, cant figure out if my favorite's Green or Blue Ranger.. Both so kacak.. LOL!

"You picked the wrong green ranger to mess with" *takes out saber*
"Wow what a nice swordddd~!."
"Excuse me but its a saber!."

Hahaha :B

11th March

2011-03-11T06:40:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Dad, love you much you are the man of my life mwahxz :*

So i realized how true it is that you dont realize what you have till its gone. N i gotta say..
That i reread our conversations from last year and i saw how pretty close we were and how you once or twice mentioned i was your best friend.. N pretty much no other guy had said that before. N those days we stayed back to study in class in this awkward yet comfortable silence with random conversations.. N how you always text me to help you out with your rs n how id talk to you about him.. How annoying and painful it is to think its all gone just like that n we hardly talk anymore. Its just so weird how things could change. How much more weird it is for me to say that i actually miss you.... :/
That how results sets such a huge impression on you.. Just by looking at your results, people judge you. Even your own family.. N then this voice in my brain tells me to work harder.. I want to succeed, i wanna make it n show it.. Your results is what takes you far.. And i have to work much harder.
That while your day is fine, not everyone else's is.. While im doing fine in school n at home, our fellow Asian country just got thru with a disaster.. Just when i thought the world would cool down a little.. Why cant we have peace. It just scares me, really.
That ive grown so fat.
That Change is not an idiot. But you are. I am.

Nights have a good holiday take lotsa care :)

Today was a fine bzz day :)

2011-03-09T05:15:00.000-08:00

To you, from me. :)

You know who you are.

Well, i guess it applies to me too.

Change is an idiot

by Dexnell Gervais Peters

It is eight o'clock

Four hours from the time

As anxious as I am

Waiting is just sad

I fall asleep glad

Expecting to awake from the hands of someone

With hugs and kisses and gifts

Nothing ever goes wrong

Today it did

No hands approached me

I awoke on my own time

To meet nothing or no one by my side

The house empty

The town scanty

Change is an idiot.

:)

2011-03-08T04:30:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Mom i love you forever muacks :')

I realize we're getting older each day.. And i really have to start to do more things.. Do things that im scared of.. Dont do the easy things.. Dont get caught up when im put way back or down low.. Dont give a shit when i get scolded.. Know that life is a struggle, and that we have to at every phase of life.. I have to start to chase. I have to learn rejection so i can move on, cuz if not i will only hold on to silly things.. I have no time to bzz around no more. Time to have you.. Time to have fun. :B

"Heheh!! You are like not here!!" haha cute aunty of mine.

Aiya, you..

Day has finally come

2011-03-06T14:59:00.000-08:00

Yup its Monday again.
On Saturday i came back from dance and slept.
On Sunday i came back from Madrasah and slept.
It was like 15hour sleep dammit. Felt so so good.
I found that im just trying to catch as much sleep as i can at any time possible. Jajaja!
I had the time to cook 8 super mini pancakes (5 of which im bringing to school) and 2 eggs (half of which im bringing to school as well) and im readyyy..
Not.
L8r :)

With shells

2011-03-04T06:57:00.000-08:00

Self-love has GOT to happen real soon.

I found out depression hits hardest when you realize its not because everyone hates you;

but because you hate yourself.

There's definitely a LOT of disapprovals and rules in my family.

As hard as i try to accept and keep myself in the square, i am only a teenager.

But different.

Hm, okay, abrupt stop here.

Lost my train of thoughts.

Anyway, nothing i did made me feel better.

But it is what it is.

Everytime i get over something, someone has to bring it up again.

And then id mull over it again.

Sucks when, the people around you could but you couldnt.

The people around you are but you arent.

And i got frustrated.

Everytime im up front, ill be sent waaay back.

I thought that my height already gives away.

But i dont think so no more.

Am i really that worthless?

Oh yeah and dont say all those things anymore please..

I just suck, right?

Forget about it, forget about me lah.

I need a spark, its about time i step my game up.

Fat fries

2011-03-02T06:41:00.000-08:00

2nd March '11

1. The day i failed English FOR THE FIRST TIME, and trust me, it was really hard up on me, i have NEVER failed English IN MY ENTIRE LIFE ugh. Pains me pains me pains me, and i have never gotten so low for Compo. Stupid bell curves, a sixty is a C6 are you crazy mad?!?!? My Greg, why yall so hard.

2. I passed Mathematics. Holyyy craaaap. Failed English and passed Maths what crap is this!

3. Rest myself well, yup, so damn well for tomorrow i will die once again. Oh my Greg, you have NO idea what its like.. Youre SO tired and you try SO hard but others wouldnt, and you all die in the end. You have NO idea.

4. I REALLY think there is something wrong with me, or maybe just my study method.. Im not studying enough. I keep telling myself this yet i do nothing to change it. I know im tired, but i also know im weak. When its a free day, i tell myself to rest instead of study. And my study-able time is so SO off. Almost teared in school because of this. If i carry on like this i will receive shitty results, more fails or more Cs and no As at all. What about all those dreams i had when i first started, where did they go? I know; ive just been too damn tired to even think about what i want, let alone strive for it. :'(

5. Just gotta remind myself that in this world we can NEVER work alone, there are always other people, even if you dont want/intend to impress them, they are still there you still have to work with them and they will still judge you. You either get hard on them or be gentle. I choose to be gentle by nature. And not everyone will work as hard as you do, even if you want that G and you put in all for it, not everyone else will. You have to either brainwash them into thinking the same way you do or just leave them be and let them let you fail.

Goodnight.

NEVER

2011-03-01T03:45:00.000-08:00

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

Its not always rainbows and butterflies
Its compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs her to catch you everytime you fall.....

She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

We will all be loved, dont be sad :')
Awh, blister tore, no wonder my toes felt funny.. Why do blisters tear..
And my coughing is grabbing all my breath away..
Double and, i miss Mr Ng.. Lol..
"Whos absent today?!" "Mr Ng.."
Haaaaa~

F2L

2011-02-28T05:05:00.000-08:00

Coughing tires me like crazy.
Good Monday..not really.
What do i say.
Im tired, shall homework cook and sleep.
Nights love yall.

1412

2011-02-26T22:12:00.001-08:00

Just because you miss someone, doesnt mean they belong in your life.
Oh sigh.

Salty yet not sweet.

2011-02-25T04:50:00.001-08:00

And suddenly i tasted something salty..

For what had hurted, hurted so bad..

But to think again..

It was me myself who hurted myself so bad..

Error..less?

2011-02-24T04:52:00.000-08:00

HAHA i feel soo good right now!!! Dont ask :P
Hope tomorrow flows smooth.
I love the Malay Dancers, they lit my day up so bright today, happiest moments ive had these days!! Turning Sixteen was indeed very VERY memorably rockin'! I love you all ahh!!!!!!!!!!! :B hehehehe!! Pictures tomorrow alright!!
Ok time for sleep everyone have a good Friday!! :B

Just going by The Script

2011-02-23T09:34:00.000-08:00

And ill make you wish i still gave you the cold shoulder
And make you wish i still gave you a hard time
And youll wish you could still wish it was all over
But even if wishing was a waste of time
Even if you never cross my mind

And then it'll be just like i was never gone.

Yay The Script, love them to bits for their fawesome lyrics and the man voice of the singer and the instrumentals!!

Gtea

2011-02-23T06:34:00.000-08:00

Mum n grandmum cooked awesome mee soto.
But, walao, i feel like shit.
No, not like sad shit shit..
More like tired out of my wits, drained out of all my energy, focused on things i shouldnt be, sleep deprived, too much food..
Ugh sick.. And then tmr.. Uh shucks, tired la tired la tired la.
Nvm two more months..
Mee soto rulez..
N hes really really cute im begging you to.
Help me please for im a prisoner on the road and i hold no key to ever set me free. Cheesy, got that from guy singing in tv now lol.
K goodnight for the 2nd time yesss!

Happy Birthday Lin i love you most :)

2011-02-21T01:49:00.000-08:00

Ahhh wow, the wishes keep coming!!

They got me smiling from the start of the day till now hehe.

Heres a list (not in any order, and only as of now) ;

Kimmy, Siti Sophie, Atiqah, Syahrum, Sheril Nadia, Nanthini, Farrwan, Iffah, Yingzhong, Xunhao, Mimi, Didi, Rui Xiang, Irsyad, Kinah Shorty, Allina, Angie, Basil, Clement, Khairul Khairi Rahimee, Farhan Han, KaiYun, Wen Qi, Cheryl, Ree my sexy twin, Aidah Sidek, Iskandar, Sharil/Shar Boii Cincalok, Lenice, Baizura, YunJie, Puteri Benelle, Nadzirah, Natasha, Siti Amirah, Nur Shafiqah, Soleha, Ansar, Nyaii Ausi, Ar Iskandar, Zahieyrahh, Amir Krueger, Fitri Rozlyana Salvatore, Azurin Ramli, Muhammad Sir Haiyun (lol i know, just figured the Sir part is cool), Zaid, Tessa, Jun Hong, Sinyei, Bake D. Green, Heedayahr, Rini Norfarhana, Nizam, Nurul Afina, Syed Mohd Azrul, Hazzyma Rzk, Twinguin, Crystal, Stuart Little, Adam Rafey, Doretta, Wann Nur Atiqah, Zieerah, Aquila Deanna, Nur Hazwani M N, Sufirul, Mundzirah, Jenny, Chee Yoong Porenfold, Carlo, Lindy, Zhaorong, Cikgu Iszal, Thaqif Delta, Shabnam Lambert, Yi Jin, Natasya Karfi, Samantha, Icesyah, Abrisam, Marliyanah, Rohani, Sue Lyanna, Aik Kein, Emil, Shahrizuan, Daniel, Gina, Terry, Erman, Wanyi, Sharlene, Izzah, Norliana, Suhaiba, Dzul, Gladys, Hassanal, Amin, Ariff, Hui Li, Sharmini, Denice, Sabrina, Nurul Adillah, Nur Razilah, Syamim, Ashiqin, Amirah, Nurul Atiqa, Aunt Kay, Aunt Amy, Uncle Azmi, Aunty Lehah, Maman Joe and plus plus plus!!

Sorry if i left you out but you know who you are!!

I never felt so much love before!!

Today was super with sleep and tests and not enough sleep and a nice surprise after school with (almost the whole of) 4Endeavour singing me the birthday song and coming back to a table filled with hearts saying Happy Birthday, i have such thoughtful friends and people around me!

Haha its only been 2056hrs being sixteen and im already dead beat!

Got my first birthday bash too, by having to stand in the middle and being circled by the dancers, and then getting kicked at the butt and legs and everywhere they could get!!

Hahaha birthday bullies!!

Hahaha i say that with love :)

Thanks again for everything everyone!

Have a great one on yours too!

Till then!!

TWENTY TWO ELEVEN

2011-02-20T05:35:00.000-08:00

Because the world is black and white, then colourful, and then back again. :)

I have about 2 more hours of being fifteen.

Feeling rather nervous, honestly, and i dont know why.

Sixteen 16 sixteen 16.

Im scared, for one (two?) years ago when i was fourteen, i was so so immature my mind was ugh, i was so stupid and i was almost like at loss for direction and i treated myself really badly without thinking of consequences.

And now im turning sixteen, with a whole different mindset..

It scares me, im turning sixteen so fast.

When i was in secondary one or primary school, ive always heard people saying "Oh im secondary three, taking O levels next year" or "Sec four, my O level year" or when i was 12+ and innocently saying "Yup im going to Express" and now i really am taking my O levels, i already made it to Express, all's been well for me but will it continue on?

I have been failing, and then succeeding, failing and then succeeding.

How much harder am i to work now that im older?

Im scared of the new responsibilities i have to hold.

I know now a little more about myself. Every day.

I learn how notice the littlest things like how someone did not put back my things or whether someone touched my things, or how i notice this person is cold towards me, or how i care so much about whether i am hurting other people with what i say or do (but i still do it) or how i tell myself to love myself more every single day..

And my 15th year was..worth remembering..?

And i am going to be sixteen..

I dont feel im ready to be sixteen.

Its like every single year i get older, i feel like there are more things to go wrong.

It sucks me up a little inside for i know when i get older i am to change for the better.

But i am, i will be.

I sound like im getting married or something..

Anyhoos, had a great weekend, i hope my common tests will be fine (since i havent even started studying sh*t) and insyallah everything will go on smoothly for me and my 16th year.

Time to study, :')

2011-02-19T22:07:00.000-08:00

Memang dalam ic tulis saya Islam. Tapi Islam saya kosong.
Kun Fa Ya Kun.
Hurm..

I'm still fly, im sky high.

2011-02-19T05:53:00.000-08:00

Ohh today was pretty lovely :)

I still think i must be mad or something.

But, after a choice is made, make the best of it, no? :)

Mad Jack was super, finally got a real chicken chop and not the school canteen's. :/

HEHE.

Dance was sweaty. Heh heh.

I love ShiGGa Shay!!

Oh n i met Aidie today his haircut is better now LOLOLOL.

There are some people in the world who you just wanna hurt, but in a way you try, there is no way they will be hurt. And thent here are those who are so easy to hurt, but hell honey, those are the ones you really dont wanna hurt, that will kill you instead.

Im tireddddddddddddddddddd(drags)

I love my family plus cousins plus aunts plus uncles.

Another celebration tomorrow, more food~~~

I still must be mad..

And i found out how to change the color to my pictures with D3K..

I feel so blessed for such a great family :)

Beginners

2011-02-18T22:08:00.000-08:00

Because (most) boyfriends dont care and (most) girlfriends keep trying to impress.
People have the weirdest ways of trynna get what they want.
But yet we often dont realize what they do, we did too.
I am extremely body-conscious(?) now, my butt is hella big and i am short and so dang fat.
Screw me, promised to be food-conscious(?) too but im not working.
Stupid or duna.
Dont force me can or not.
Angry la aiya. Kns.
I am so annoyed so so annoyed so so so annoyed.
"I ignore texts. I let the phone ring. Some people just need to know i dont feel like talking."
And i need to study too, rmb?
Dance hard.

& since the date is still dated as 18 February..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAI LOVE N MISS U HEHE

2011-02-16T06:01:00.000-08:00

Say hi to my first yellow slip ever :)

And then say hi again cuz i was exempted :)

TEEHEE. I love Beth Riesgraf omg.

Green polka dotty

2011-02-15T04:28:00.000-08:00

Really really Cute huh omg!!!! Happy, :D

My hearts a mess but its okay. Why so sad. Im here. You dont know it. But i always am. :)

N holy shit im tired, and i shall bake soon :P

Striped undies

2011-02-14T07:08:00.000-08:00

Time check: 2310hrs
I just ate a lemon macaron.
Felt like i just had sex.
Yum.

Oh and Happy VaLINtines Day!

Hello out there.

2011-02-13T07:00:00.000-08:00

I'm only human dawg

Ay, ay, ay listen to me

And when they push you down

You got to get back up

And when they push you down

You got to get back up

Push the dirt off your jersey then go for the cup

Or the trophy or the ring, champion no matter what

Apologies to my fans and friends (im sorry)

For letting you down, I wont take you down this road again

Most of you now saying whatever, here we go again

I laugh to keep from crying through all of the embarrasment

I gotta say all you fucking haters are hilarious

How dare you sit right there and act as if you holier than thou

Point your finger now with me looking down

Nevermind my imperfections this is fact, remember that

No mistakes too great to recover and bounce back

I admit, yeah, i done some dumb shit

Disappointed everybody i know

Try not to hold that against me though

If yall thought i were perfect

I apologize for being human man

But never again partner

You can put my life on that

Get Back Up - T.I. feat Chris Brown

Hell yeah!. Work hard everyone, in order for it to work out. ;)

Feb 13th.

2011-02-13T06:58:00.000-08:00

Same date, different year.

Big changes.

Real big changes.

As much as i regret shit,

i cannot blame myself.

For i am just human.

2011-02-10T00:33:00.000-08:00

I am pretty much too much all over what you give is what you get~ Ahhhh what if everybodys mean to me!! And what I give is what I get too!!! Ahh how!!!!!!

N I don't look like my sister haha =.= off the braces, same old different new me :)

I

2011-02-06T03:27:00.001-08:00

REALLY DONT LIKE THE SOUND OF THINGS NEXT WEEKEND, DONT ASK WHY. GOING OUT BOTH DAYS, TWELVETH AND THIRTEENTH.
I DONT KNOW, MAYBE ITS BECAUSE LAST YEAR ON THE 13TH OF FEBRUARY 2010, IT HAPPENED FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME AND I DIDNT TAKE ANY DAMN ACCOUNT OF IT - NONE AT ALL!! - AND I DID NOT REALIZE HOW NEAR YET SO FAR THINGS WERE AND NOW ALL I COULD DO IS SIT AND WISH IT COULD HAPPEN ALL OVER AGAIN THIS YEAR BUT
IT WILL NOT HAPPEN.

Time has already let go, and so should i, uh-huh.

Lin, do yourself a favor and love yourself before you wanna love anyone else, please thank you.

Shaded

2011-02-05T08:32:00.000-08:00

I find it a little bit littlle odd that when we read the words "i love you" which are meant for us, we tend to smile and, well, get happy and all. But when we read the exact same words "i love you" which are meant for someone else, we either feel real sad or dont feel anything at all. Its like our heart/head knows whether its meant for us or not. And i find it gives so much impact. Maybe i should research this on the future :D and also, it really makes sense, how 3 simple words put together can either make or ruin your mood or day, build or crush you at that instance, and how much a difference they make. Words like "i love you" or "i hate you" or "we are over" or "lets get together" or "fuck you bitch" and so on. Ha. Okay im pretty much wack weird.. Hopefully tomorrow's fine n i dont end up tired (again). Goodnight. N that black teddy bear is so cute!!! :D

Tell me whatchu want, whatchu really really want~

2011-02-04T23:03:00.000-08:00

I want a cute smiling black teddy bear for my birthday. Hehe :B

Weapons

2011-02-03T02:23:00.001-08:00

Dont be mad please stop the hating just be glad that they'll be waiting friends we have are ever changing you now the lid's about to blow when the thunderbirds are go. :')

Making love out of nothing at all

2011-01-31T05:44:00.000-08:00

I can make the runner stumble
I can make the final block
And i can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle
I can make all the stadiums rock

I know just how to fake it
And i know just how to scheme
I know just when to face the truth
And then i know just when to dream

And im never gonna make it like you do
Making love out of nothing at all

I miss D3K pretty badly~

Funny old haircuts

2011-01-31T04:58:00.000-08:00

I dont know what to say

Its like that every day

Never felt this way

Yeah yeah~

I love that thing you do.

Ressilyernce

2011-01-30T07:13:00.000-08:00

Just like blood my dreams flow through,

Veins with clogs and big holes too,

There are countless of times my steps gone wrong,

But i will not fail i will stay so strong.

Next four lines, i really dont know.

I ate your blue hairband and swallowed it

2011-01-29T06:06:00.000-08:00

If i scratch your back, you need to scratch mine.

Been raining all day, maybe i should sleep~

N i guess its okay cuz i dont really need you there for the whole 3 hours..

Although i think its completely INsane that they dont understand that you have something on..but well i guess theyre paying for it..

Baking tomorrow, hope its a success harr harr.

Oh wow, i hear the sound of the rain, and the raindrops falling onto the floor, and i can smell the fresh scent of rain and grass, and the touch of cool air breezing on my skin and i wish i could hear your voice....

cuz im sick and tired of hearing mine.

Ha ha, nighties everyone, stay happy as can be~

Muchachas~

2011-01-29T04:11:00.000-08:00

Somewhat amazing, technology is.

2011-01-28T04:45:00.001-08:00

Again tonight? Fuck la Lin whats the matter with you. I feel no love. Wherever i am. Its either someone else or everyone else but me. Stop it la Lin everyone else is so freakin tired too la stupid.

Pessssssssssssssssssi

2011-01-27T05:33:00.001-08:00

Ugh today awesomely tiring.

PT is so so so so so so so so so so so so SO COOL to me HAHAHA!!

Sweat today, n ate a pizza. Boo.

Muscle around my pelvis hurts like crazy thanks to a after-a-long-time-never-do attempt to a split.

Ughh pain.

Tomorrow is fucking alone day.

Hope it gets better after school.

Saturday n Sunday, i still have to wake up early.

I have had a change of my schedule/sleeping time now.

Been (TRYING) to sleep early and waking up early.

It works, working early in the morning, when everything's so silent and shiok.. :)

But i cant seem to wake up any earlier than 545, dont ask why.

Oh my God.

I seriously cant stand having a tired mind and an aching muscle near my pelvis.

I dont know what the hell i need right now.

Sleep, more sleep, alot of sleep, some csi, some excercisin, some hobby, some readin, some runnin, some dancin, some laughin, some eatin.. i dont the hell know..

But one thing for sure that i know i want is..

a warm hug in someone's strong arms. :)

N maybe a food processor n some scones ha ha!

One continuous camerashot

2011-01-26T04:03:00.000-08:00

Oooh the new embed code thingy thing very cool :B

HEHE.

Today so fine.

So so fine.

So so so so so so so so so so so so fine.

Cant wait for tomorrow's dance.

Although everyday so tired so tired n so tired again.

But Friday.. :(

So, yeah.

I sorta found out something.

Instead of people seeing me as weak or quiet or shy..

i realized they see me as fierce or tired or sleepy.

Say whuuuuut..

So the song up there is my latest addiction now harr harr.

Thanks to Keshini n Adi~

HAHAHAHAHA.

Ok im gonna bzz off now.

Love yall.

Hey, hey, hey daddy~

Love is what love does

2011-01-25T05:40:00.000-08:00

Oh how great, now im in love with your laughter.
It is just so HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
If i could hear it every single day with you, im guessin ill be smiling more..
:)

24th January 2011

2011-01-24T05:42:00.000-08:00

Its never easy to let go.

Especially if its something, or someone, who have helped you to hold on for so long.

If its something, or someone, who made you who you are now, who has shaped you to become what you are now.

Its also hard to be the one spilling the beans.

Also hard to be the one holding on to the one who just got the blow.

And, you know, somehow what i said was almost what really did happen..

I thought this week would be lonely..

Well, lonely is what lonely does..

I hope i helped you in a way or two, or more.

I hope my silence helped because i dont know what choice of words would be appropriate for a time like this.

I hope by giving you hugs helped you know that i am always there for you, and so will there be others.

I hope by listening i helped you let some things you wanted to be out, be out.

I hope ive helped you any way i can, i will continue to do so.

And i hope it helps that ive cried with you, so you know that you are not alone, and whatever happiness or sadness you feel, i feel for you as well.

Say no more.

In the end,

nobody can confidently say that they will be living the next day.

:')

Nuramirah, be strong.

With much love.

Cookies!!

2011-01-23T04:45:00.000-08:00

Ohh wow.
2nd?! R u kiddin!!!
This is my all time favorite.

First time watchin i;

1. didnt realize they only used one solid song because they were too awesome and

2. i seriously didnt notice ANY mistakes, they remembered all their steps.

But then after looking through the comments, i realized the one solid song n just loved it.

N after watching many many many times, i realized the little things that MAYBE had led them into 2nd.

BUT i still think they freakin deserve 1st place!!!!!!!!!!!

Sooo sick n tight!!

Look @ how synchronized(?) they are with and without blindfolds!!!!!!

So mad precise, so sharp, hitting the beats.

If this is 2nd, i dont know where the hell i am haha!

Can never get sick of this!

Look up to them like crazy!!

LOVE COOKIES!!!!!!!!

1357

2011-01-22T21:57:00.000-08:00

I hate (the size of) my hips.
Just so i know, not everyone loves everyone n not everyone hates everyone.
Still believe there is good out there.
Nnnnnnn, my weekend just cant get much worse.
Bye homework im prolly not gonna touch you at all in the end.
If there is one thing im mentally really scared of, it would be failing, hands down.

Blog post 5 oh 5

2011-01-21T21:36:00.000-08:00

Lucky for you, its just a crush and will eventually fade.
:)

Hope its as easy as it sounds.

& upcoming week is sounding pretty lonely. :/

Ctrl

2011-01-20T03:21:00.001-08:00

Dont i cry.

Why cant they understand the way i feel

They just dont trust what they cant explain

I know we're different but deep inside us we're not that different after all

Dont listen to them

What do they know?

When destiny calls you

You must be strong

Dont i cry.

Oh my life deep inside just sucks, i feel im breaking i feel im missing i feel used i know we're different but deep inside us we're not that different after all but why do i feel we are all not the same, that we are so different, and i do not feel special for who i am but who you are.

Why.

So is it true that when you hate someone its because you dont have or are not a part of who they are? About to fall asleep with flowing wet cheeks n eyes im gonna look like a matdrug tmr.

Need you need you just fucking need someone.

N i want that fucking EAGLES.

Dont know how

2011-01-16T05:32:00.000-08:00

N i keep getting reminded of the first time you smiled at me.
You have a smile to die for.
Uh.

And we will meet again

2011-01-14T05:17:00.000-08:00

Its just weird how time made things change so much.

People i knew dont know me anymore.

People i didnt know now know me.

People i used to dont care about, now i want to talk to so bad.

People who used to like me now hates me.

People who used to hate me now likes me.

People who liked my friends now hates them.

Things i dont want to do now i want to.

Things i didnt want now i want.

People i didnt want now i want.

Maybe need.

Maybe im just dead tired, right now.

It was a nice afternoon.

Funny how i always end up helping people i dont want to help.

I am going insane, just completely insane.

Trouble trouble.

My mind went too far.

I have to go back.

Tired tired tired of wishful thinkings.

Do you really want.

Do you really want mehh~

501th post

2011-01-11T08:09:00.000-08:00

I love a guy who wears long pants.
I wish theres a guy who could say the same for girls.
Or, rather, for me.

2011-01-09T23:27:00.000-08:00

YOU SHOULD ALL TRY THIS IT IS SOO GOOD.
I ate my bread n butter pudding with strawberries (sprinkled with sugar, refridgerate n let syrup form) and it was just so so soo good, esp since its fresh.
Just finished eating it with a good Robin Cook's in bed while waiting for tuition on a cold cold day.
Enjoi~ :)

Quote of the day;
You can rely on Greg. Dont forget to get his opinion if youre stuck.
011011. 19:40:54
By Catherine Willows.

Got the mail while playing Deadly Intent.

Just when i really needed it. :)

A bite of my puddin~

2011-01-09T07:16:00.000-08:00

Bread & Butter Pudding!!

Got the recipe from The Australian's Women's Weekly.

(A little adjusted as to how i "presented" mine)

Ingredients:

6 thin slices of white bread (270g)

40g butter, softened

4 eggs

1/3 cup (75g) caster sugar

3 1/2 cups (875ml) milk

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 cup (80g) sultanas

ground nutmeg or ground cinnamon

Steps:

1. Preheat oven 160/140 degrees celcius fan-forced.

2. Butter one side of bread and cut into cubes. Arrange cubes in your baking dish, butter-side up, overlapping slightly.

3. Whisk eggs, sugar, milk and extract in bowl. Pour half custard mixture over bread; stand for 10 minutes.

4. Whisk remaining custard mixture, add sultanas; pour into dish. Sprinkle with nutmeg or cinnamon. Stand dish in larger baking dish with enough boiling water to come halfway up side of dish.

5. Bake, uncovered, about 50 minutes or until custard is set.

Personally, i just love love love cinnamon so i put a fair bit at every layer of bread, along with the sultanas. (I keep spelling Sultanas as Sulatanas =.=)

And, yup, i also just love the crusty burntish part of the bread at the top. Super yumms.

Yup real simple, if you have any old leftover bread or whatever.

And in step four, you actually just put the pan with the bread mixture in a bigger pan filled with boiled water. Sort of like a double boiler but you touch the water. Its called a barin marie or something i think?? Ha!

Yeah bringing that to school tomorrow.

Its midnight dammit. Just stopped Case 2 @ CSI.

I'm under Greg for the case.

I love love love Greg Sanders.

Nights everyone, have a "good" week!

;)

Bite of my heart tonight~

2011-01-08T07:15:00.000-08:00

Ooooh wow, today was exceptionally good.

Went over to TP's Open House.

It was real good.

I forgot to ask about cutoff points for the courses that i wanted =.= :/

Anyway, had a good time, spent the whole day there.

Plus, met some seniors, Kak Juls & Kak Atiqah~

Muchachas~

Hopefully i can do it.

And sorry for the lack of updates.

Readers droppin.

And i have my DNA in a small bottle now.

And i met a chinese version of Greg.

Ooooooh todays gooooood~

OH OH ~ I WANT SOME MORE ~ WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR ~ TAKE A BITE OF MY HEART TONIGHT ~

OH OH ~ I WANT SOME MORE ~ OH OH WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR ~ WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR ~ WHAT ARE YOU WAITINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG ~

OH I WONT SLEEP TONIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cutlet chops

2011-01-04T06:41:00.000-08:00

Knocked out after everything n found out why. Effin period @ e wrong timing. Anw i managed to keep myself busy with school stuff for an hour just to skip an episode of The Mentalist which i dislikeeeeee(!!!) while its playing. For some reason my class got Temasek Poly fuck yeah!! My shorts r stained so i fucking dont have shorts to wear tmr and i got "the face" for staining it when i didnt even know i fucking did. Skirt dont fit, endless "youre so fat" from home n "go lose weight la" from outside home. And not to mention "my eyesight is 750+ plus degrees n i can still see your eyebags". Fml. Everything would be fine if those shit were absolutely the opposite of what it is. Urgh. FML.

Well alright.

2011-01-03T14:46:00.000-08:00

Time check: 647am.
Mood: Sleepy as hell, alittle excited, tired, scared to death(?)
I wonder how the freshmen are feeling..
Well today marks the first day of Year 4th in my secondary school.
Dont feel the seniority at all..
Muahahaha~!

Maaaagic magic maaaagic ;)

2011-01-03T06:14:00.000-08:00

Hiii watching Miami Vice while making Cupcakes now. Not those pretty ones, just traditional ones(?) with help from Mum. Tastes fantasticle. Lol. Anyway school has no more Reading Period. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT ERGHHH. And i hope theres not much banding tmr :( pretty excited now. I dont know how to bring my Lunchbox :/ argh tmrs gna be so tiring but its ok i get to see Greg tmr night. Theres CSI @ 130am l8r, have a pretty tight feeling ill be staying up to watch because i havent watched Greg for daaaaays and tmr i will miss him ok im a freakin psycho harr harr. Mkay la have a good night everybody have a good rest ok. Miami Vice's guns are so fuckin cool ha.

1dayed

2011-01-02T04:10:00.000-08:00

Shall cry tonight because holidays ends tonight.
Less than a year for Os.
I dont want it. I dont want going to school just to be divided into different bands once again, having to adjust into new classmates, having to be sure i have someone to sit with in every class, having to listen to new teachers, having to wake up early, having to make even more critical desicions, having to go through it all again, having a whole new same old change..
Im not ready for all this, never will be.
Maybe its just the fear of who i might not get to be.
Maybe its just the fear of the comments i might get..
I hate Lin.
I hate me........
Lol.....emo bull............

HNY!. :)

2010-12-31T07:31:00.000-08:00

Hahaha shall we look back to the post i did last year?

:) Im not gonna say if anything happened.

Maybe i can say that the year happened pretty well.

Pretty balanced, maybe?

Couple of fails, couple of passes, couple of letting gos, couple of holding ons, couple of losts, couple of founds, couple of news, couple of olds, couple of smiles, couple of cries, couple of new interests, couple of old interest lost, couple of loves, couple of hates.

I dunno.

Whatever what i said last year. ;)

Ill just go where i wanna go now.

Plans made are plans to follow.

Sigh.

Ok so its officially 2011 now and im listening to Greg's voice now.

Best New Year Ever :P

So i actually think i will cry BUT i dont know why it aint coming so..

Well, if you ask me about how my 2010 was, ill say this.

Picked this up from CSI. :)

Gil Grissom: Did you enjoy being in the field?

Greg Sanders: You heard about it too?

Gil Grissom: What?

Greg Sanders: I messed up.

Gil Grissom: No.

Greg Sanders: Well, then i enjoyed it fine.
Muacks, RIP 2010 \m/ :)B

Ready not

2010-12-30T05:25:00.001-08:00

Extremely unready for 2011.

Ahh crap.

Dont know if its the part where i have to leave 2010 or the thought that i have to handle 2011.

Have a good time, Lin.

Part of me dont wanna leave 2010.

And i just missed Bed Bradshaw. How sad is that. :( :( :( :(

Underground?

2010-12-29T06:37:00.000-08:00

Fuck, maybe im just tired, but my life is a whole shitload of fucktards and bullshit. Ever felt that way too? :/

Shunnnnn

2010-12-28T20:59:00.000-08:00

Hate the weather. Its soo hooot!! And im like going out in awhile. Off to Mum n friends' new/end of year high tea. Good thing bro's coming along. Forgot to charge D3K battery. Stups. Dont know what to wear. Drying hair now, but i doubt it will dry enough. And my hair's completely mental now. Cant even stand for 2 days. The 2nd day, it will be all greasy and itchy. Something wrong with my scalp i think. Shampoos supposed to help. Ah well. Kebabs n all, here i comeeeee! :P

(Lol ikr. What happened to counting calories? Bleh. Its 45bucks worth of kebabs. Who cares..for now. Ah wtf.)

C9

2010-12-28T07:51:00.001-08:00

So much Greg today, love him for life, muacks lol :P

2010-12-27T06:34:00.000-08:00

I miss making someone smile.
Im afraid of what i am, will be.
Eating millions of calories per day, cooking things, and now beginning to count them and wont go for those over 300.
What the fucks gonna happen next?
I even thought to myself, even if i can do the shit i cant, or wear shit i cant, i still probably wouldnt be able to, cuz of my body.
I have many dreams i wanna chase, but i feel so pinned down.
I have choices i cant make.
I have things to look forward to, but im not ready.
Feeling sick to my head, eyes, stomach, mind, but not being sure why.
Wanting things i dont use.
Wishing things i cant have.
Waiting things that wont come.
Trying things that dont work out.
Hoping things will work out.
Im wondering how i sounded so happy these days.
I ripped something i was supposed to give to a fucking exboyfriend a year plus ago.
All this why?
Is it because theres nobody there anymore that i know will make me smile?

2nd day lol.

2010-12-26T05:49:00.000-08:00

Hiii lunch today was @ Streats Hong Kong Cafe yum yummy yum yum. Some photos. Didnt bring D3K so yeah, snapped n uploaded from my phone. Kinda messed up and some arent uploaded =.=
enjoi, have a good night everyone. Dry run tmr :( ha. Death.

Square cuts

2010-12-25T01:17:00.000-08:00

HI MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!.

Cool that Christmas colors are my favorite colors. Ha!
Felt like i wanted to share some photos with you since i havent since.. forever. :P
BUT, before everything else, let me show you a picture of two ridiculously good looking men. :) HEHE.

Simon Baker, who plays Patrick Jane in The Mentalist.

Eric Szmanda, who plays Greg Sanders in CSI.

My favorite drink, Bandung. (Y) Its rose syrup plus milk, for those who are wondering. ;)

Finally got pictures @ Universal Studio, from Adi's camera :B

I look like some Aunty HAHA.

Fat bitch, i know.

Oh heres pictures of me and my new haircut if i havent posted any pictures.

Ah, this was before. HAHA look at the guys on extreme left =.=

Pretty sick huh :) Im the left one btw. He even cut those braces for me.

This was the day i had to "be" an Art student. Not cool man, so many things to carry lol.

@ LaSalle.

Okay maybe thats not a lot pictures. Here, check this out. Awesome stuff :)

Gil Grissom: So, let's see. You surf, you scuba dive. You're into latex, you like fashion models and Marilyn Manson. And you also have a coin collection?
Greg Sanders: Weird, ha?
Gil Grissom: Well, I race cockroaches!

Ha! Love G. :)

Rich

2010-12-24T03:31:00.000-08:00

I CANT WAIT TO HAVE MY OWN KITCHEN.

Dig deep

2010-12-23T09:48:00.000-08:00

Yeah, alright, i know, yall are happy and complete people together.
But what i wanna know is how yall are inside..
Not trynna be pshyco (idc how you spell it but thats the way i do it :P) but.
One day, i will dig deep, deep enough to find out what is REALLY there under all those happiness and completeness and..whatever.

Bull.

Btw, watched The Mentalist and just when Red John appeared, the cd jammed and wont play. Ha. Just when the words "cheap imitations" came through.

Should i go out tomorrow.

:B

Oh yeah, byebye!

2010-12-22T07:21:00.000-08:00

The kid is here! Muahaha hes soo cute.
Hmm i woke up today, watched The Mentalist, popped a pill for the nose, watched House and then was knocked out big time. I had the worst dream EVER there was this carnival so my sister my brother my grandmummy and dad and i wanted to buy Ramly burgers and then there was this old short skinny man who stood here naked squeezing his penis when the music stops and when the music plays he happily shoots his semen everywhere, on my sister, my grandmummy, me.. Disgusting man wtfh.. But i hit him real hard to push him away. So dat part was good. Ha. Ewww wtf man. So yeah woke up and the Dzuls were here. Ajul (photo) gave me a good hug and i said i miss you and he was like "i miss you toooo" awww, indesicive sweetheart. Hes sleepin over tonight. Watching The Mentalist now. Ajul has been saying "Where are you Mister Pussycat?~ Are you here Pussycat?~ Are you HERE Pussycat?!" sho cute. :)

Teef

2010-12-20T17:28:00.000-08:00

Hi guess what. I am sitting here superly sleepy (=.=) with mama sleeping on the chair to my right (=.= =.=) while waiting for my turn. Dang, i slept at around 330 and woke up at 7, and with the day's activities, i turned out pretty fine. Home, watched The Mentalist, watched House, slept for 20mins, tuition, baked cupcakes (if u were wondering, it turned out not so good but not so bad either. Prolly cuz i cut the ingredients n estimated. Could do better.) and on a better note, i succeeded in making marshmallow fondant (n, just sayin, fondant dont at all taste so good) and buttercream (i only added powdered sugar to butter actually) it tasted that much better but it was runny once it melted. And then i watched The Mentalist on C5, and then CSI (they did NOT continue last week's episode wtf!!) and then i quickly ran to sleep.
I had a freaking bad runny nose which got me a freaking bad night, with nightmares of runny nose (i think, i dont know if i was dreaming or if it really happened) and woke up the next day.

Wao.

Like we used to

2010-12-20T06:56:00.000-08:00

Can you promise me that this one's right so i can throw it all away?

I never knew i could miss any friend like i miss you.

God, talk about a tranny..

TMTTUS

2010-12-19T04:15:00.000-08:00

Some things i really want to do in this life.

Experience snow.

> Told Mum about this.. I told her that on my next birthday, i wanted her to bring me to SnowCity cuz i wanna see the snow there.. The last time i went was when i was in kindergarten, was barely six then.. And seeing pictures of my Aunt(?) living in Austria (i think?) with all the snow.. I dont know, the fact that snow feels so near yet so far just kills me.. I know SnowCity aint gonna be like the real thing but..what are the chances? I really dont think i can experience real snow anyway..

Step in into the US.

> California, LA, Vegas, Long Beach. Nuff said.

Step into another Asia country.

> Korea, Japan..

Its just those lights..

Those city lights, street lights, urban or rural areas, office lights, building lights, lamp lights, shop lights, concert lights, performances lights, events lights, no lights, i dont care.

I wanna snap pictures of them, keep them forever, and i just want to see what its like just being there alone.

I want to stand on places people have been, take a look at what theyve seen, see it for myself.

Damn it.

Crying as i type this and swear will cry much much MUCH harder when i do it.

:')

I love all you readers, haha, found out i have readers from other countries as well.

I may not know who yall are, but i wish im where you are right now.

And i hope i can make you say the same..